Monday, February 20, 2012

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49 Things a Man Should Never Do After the Age of 30

I came across this article today while using Stumble Upon. It gave me a good laugh. It is funny to see a list of Don'ts for the guys for a change.  Although I do not agree 100% with all the items on this list I can think of some that should be on here. What do you think?
I'll be happy to adjust this list as we see fit. Just post your comments and I'll change this post. Have Fun!

1. Use the word party as a verb.

2. Shots.

3. Body shots.

4. Jell-O shots. Especially Jell-O shots.

5. Read a book with the words Zen and the Art of in the title.

6. Do impressions of Austin Powers characters, especially Dr. Evil.

7. Help friends move.

8. Ask friends to help him move.

9. Crash on a friend's floor or couch.

10. Refer to breasts as "chesticles."

11. Experiment with facial hair.

12. Let his underpants show above his jeans or below his shorts.

13. Apply paint to his face for any reason at all.

14. Own beer-drinking paraphernalia.

15. Own a skull bong.

16. Know the names of the current Real World cast.

17. Remove his shirt in public? Unless there is sand and a large body of water nearby.

18. Use the word dude, except when referring to a ranch or a well-dressed Englishman.

19. Use the word dawg in a sentence when referring to a friend or, worse, yourself.

20. Own a futon.

21. Own a beanbag chair.

22. Hang art framelessly.

23. Hang tapestries.

24. Drink malternative beverages.

25. Don a puka-bead necklace.

26. Google ex-girlfriends.

27. Break up with a girlfriend by e-mail.

28. Engage in pranks involving airborne food.

29. Own a Lava lamp.

30. Pool hop.

31. Live with someone you don't sleep with.

32. Share a hotel room with someone you don't sleep with.

33. Play fantasy sports.

34. Divide a restaurant bill with a friend in any way other than 50-50.

35. Sleep past 10:30.

36. Refer to a 
woman's genitalia as her "nappy dugout."

37. Cook exclusively on a George Foreman grill.

38. Wear a jersey with the name of a professional athlete on the back.

39. Employ any other pickup line besides "Hi, my name is _____. What's yours?"

40. Listen to Pink Floyd.

41. Use Internet acronyms, especially ROFL and LOL.

42. Shave any part of his body except your face.

Enjoy Jerry Bruckheimer movies.

44. Run with the bulls in Pamplona.

45. Attend Mardi Gras, Carnaval, or Burning Man.

46. Own a fish tank.

47. Fall asleep in public.

48. Call drugs by their street names (e.g., junk, smack, or whitebag).

49. Pick a fistfight by thrusting out your neck, flexing, and screaming, "It's go time!"

This article first appeared in the September 2002 issue of Esquire Magazine


  1. 8, 9, 34, 32...I think I got these right. I see nothing wrong with those but the list cracked me up!

  2. I agree but a few could have been added like maybe something about video games. lol But still funny